thedoldrummajor

I've never given much thought to new years before. When I was younger I was too focused on other things, like simply getting to see the next one, to have the chance to come up with resolutions or ideas for self improvement. Not this year. This year, I feel for the first time in my life that I'm no longer enduring. In the moment, yes, I'm enduring a mind-numbing job for the next two weeks before I can get back to what's really important, but on a grander scale I feel like I'm living for the first time.

The ideas for my future are no longer hypothetical. There's nothing I have to wait on anymore. No more "when I turn 18" "when I go to college" "when I get a car". I've done all that. Now it's time to figure out what exactly it is I want, rather than what I need to survive, and how to get it. That, I know, is going to be a long process. Something to marinate on the back burner. Maybe if I listen to enough new music and read enough books about philosophy I can speed up the process, but there's no telling.

Happy new year. I hope this year you find a way to feel more human. Tell your friends you love them.